Initially when I found out I was having a baby boy, I was more shocked than anything. It took me awhile to wrap my head around the idea of having a boy. I have always wanted to have a son, but after having a daughter I didn’t know how I would be with a boy. During the first 18 weeks of my pregnancy, I was convinced the baby was a girl again because I was so very sick. There were some things that were different with his pregnancy, but in the beginning that morning sickness/fatigue convinced me it was another girl. I felt that same similar sick feeling with my daughter so I didn’t really think it could be a boy. The day I had the anatomy scan I was so nervous to find out the sex. I initially thought I wanted another girl just because I thought it would be easier. I already had clothes, the girls could share a room, and I just already was in a girl world. When the nurse quickly blurted out “Boy!” tears started streaming down my face. Happy tears, I might add. Because, really, I got what I needed and I know that now more than ever. Throughout my pregnancy my love grew tremendously for this little boy. Growing up I was a tom boy, I enjoyed looking for tadpoles in the ditch, softball was my sport, and I got a 4 wheeler for my 16th birthday. I didn’t get in touch with my feminine side until I was in college. So, my natural instinct is to be adventurous. I started day dreaming of him sitting on my lap as a baby wearing a little baseball outfit. I dreamed about the day I’d teach him how to catch a ball and pitch, how to ride a go cart, or climb a tree. It all became overwhelming and I was so anxious to meet my sweet boy. On November 16, 2015 Sullivan arrived and my heart melted so fast for him. His personality is so chill, he loves to nurse, wants to be cuddled, and pulls on my hair. These things I never want to forget. Even though he is just 12 weeks old, he is already giving me some of the best memories I’ve ever had. My patience is greater with him than I expected and I find myself overly comforting him because I don’t want him to cry. I won’t sign him up for mother’s day out in the summer because I am not ready to let him go. Maybe we will join a gym instead and do the 1-2hr childcare there? Baby steps. He is like my little boyfriend. Always giving me smiles, loving me, and re assuring me that I am nurturing him right. Our bond needed little to no effort, and I am so glad for that. I was worried that since I was a girl and he is a boy that it could be weird at times. And, Im sure the teenage years will be, but right now, everything feels right and my heart is complete.
It is hard to put into words why I feel this overwhelming love for my son. I love my daughter just as much and we have a special bond that is not like mine with Sullivan’s. That’s what makes this whole parenting so cool. At first, I was worried I wouldn’t be able to love the new baby as much as I do Scarlett. Funny, how you think that when you are pregnant huh? Like, my heart is already so full of love, is it possible for it to grow larger? The answer, YES. And, I imagine if we have more than my heart will just explode at some point. People always tell us, “Oh perfect, you got your boy and your girl. You’re the typical American family.” And sure, I am grateful that I have one of each, I am super grateful that I know what it feels like to love a girl and boy. So, if you are expecting your first baby and it is a boy, or if you are already a girl mama expecting your first boy, this post is for you. It really is true when boy moms tell you how much they love their boys. It’s indescribable really. I tried to pen my feelings down, but I know I didn’t cover it all. Don’t be nervous and don’t be scared. Your boy will love you so much it will overwhelm you. All of the things that I thought would be easier seem so silly now. I couldn’t imagine my life without him, and I am glad God gave me my son. I always wanted a son, and why I didn’t initially feel like I was ready for it, he proved me wrong the day he was born and stole my heart. Oh, and it doesn’t help that he is my husbands mini me. Heart exploding!
Did you notice the sweet quilt that is in these photos? I bet you did because it is stunning and so gorgeous! When Erika from Ollie and Olina approached me with sharing her heirloom quilts, I immediately said YES! I took one look at her site and knew it was an honor to have one her quilts. I’m still working on my boy mom fashion because as you can see I picked (this one) something more unisex/girly for him. But, mint and peach aren’t just for girls. I absolutely love the colors in the quilt I picked. Erika has graciously offered my readers a chance to win a $75 credit to her beautiful shop! The giveaway is over on our Instagram page. So, please head there to enter!